A lingering pain In my Soul

I made myself a jack-fruit,
My pillow knows it all..

Hiding the truth was easy enough,
Until I realized I was lying to myself..

As clouds in a storm
and waves on a full moon,
My heart is full of tumultuous thoughts..

The price I may have to pay,
Silences me into a lamb,
Even as the tigress inside rattles the cage..

The equation doesn't balance,
Language lost its purpose,
My algorithm missed these variations,
With my flow chart in an infinite loop,
And any change will case a death spiral..

In the restricted section of the Hogwarts library,
The Holy grail may know what I should do,
Alas, this muggle knows not..

So, she thinks, thinks and thinks
Hoping one day to become
biased for action..

If Math was hard,
and losing a medal hurt,

This is infinitely worse,
This lingering pain in my soul..

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